i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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