Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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