What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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