My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
