I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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