Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
