I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
