If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
