just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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