Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
