He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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