I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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