is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
