she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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