Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp

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  (212): brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp http://tfl.nu/bier
  Replies (41) Good night (1879) Bad night (12876)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa

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  (401): Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa http://tfl.nu/h6ux
  Replies (29) Good night (799) Bad night (1160)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.

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  (604): The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches. http://tfl.nu/tdy2
  Replies (57) Good night (1468) Bad night (6771)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

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  (802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk
  Replies (154) Good night (1808) Bad night (41034)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.

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  (269): Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos. http://tfl.nu/5wn3
  Replies (13) Good night (6324) Bad night (788)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.

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  (406): That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/1hw4
  Replies (4) Good night (3131) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.

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  (813): im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots. http://tfl.nu/i8ur
  Replies (5) Good night (4134) Bad night (1664)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.

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  (301): I feel like I just tasted lung cancer. http://tfl.nu/g1s0
  Replies (5) Good night (1261) Bad night (2586)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning

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  (206): He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning http://tfl.nu/5k1e
  Replies (9) Good night (1769) Bad night (722)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

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  (619): Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by... http://tfl.nu/g8gw
  Replies (9) Good night (3969) Bad night (895)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face

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  (319): I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face http://tfl.nu/7v6p
  Replies (9) Good night (1895) Bad night (661)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.

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  (580): the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that. http://tfl.nu/mchf
  Replies (14) Good night (2388) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.

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  (530): Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking. http://tfl.nu/uxvx
  Replies (4) Good night (551) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.

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  (585): Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/49qc
  Replies (8) Good night (1137) Bad night (593)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up

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  (919): Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up http://tfl.nu/pzrf
  Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (650)

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