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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber

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• (925): View more from California

  Wait, how do girls masturbate?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

  (925): View more from California

  ..how does it fit?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?

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• (661): View more from California

  No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.

  (718): View more from New York

  Truth. Respect the hustle.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects

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