Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

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(512): Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes. http://tfl.nu/c6y2

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(808): View more from Hawaii

how do you spell 'special'? like slow?

(210): View more from Texas

S P E L L C H E C K

(808): View more from Hawaii

No you dumbass thats not right

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(808): how do you spell 'special'? like slow? (210): S P E L L C H E C K (808): No you dumbass thats not right http://tfl.nu/z6b5

Replies (14) Good night (3354) Bad night (987)
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(801): View more from Utah

i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.

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(801): i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one. http://tfl.nu/ahi8

Replies (24) Good night (4049) Bad night (827)
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(541): View more from Oregon

If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

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(541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f

Replies (20) Good night (6099) Bad night (872)
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(563): View more from Iowa

why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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(563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9

Replies (23) Good night (875) Bad night (3926)
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(310): View more from California

The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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(310): The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss. http://tfl.nu/o71q

Replies (23) Good night (1491) Bad night (4937)
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(727): View more from Florida

how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

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(727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh

Replies (42) Good night (10408) Bad night (1320)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

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(412): basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope http://tfl.nu/brdy

Replies (28) Good night (1266) Bad night (4712)
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(360): View more from Washington

True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?

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(360): True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not? http://tfl.nu/5au2

Replies (4) Good night (2226) Bad night (1021)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol

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(503): Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol http://tfl.nu/9mqs

Replies (10) Good night (1757) Bad night (1031)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.

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(603): I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST. http://tfl.nu/xkvr

Replies (22) Good night (2007) Bad night (539)
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(240): View more from Maryland

I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.

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(240): I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first. http://tfl.nu/kk3c

Replies (5) Good night (959) Bad night (629)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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(603): I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. (1-603): It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay. http://tfl.nu/8z7g

Replies (8) Good night (1492) Bad night (521)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.

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(570): Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan. http://tfl.nu/akru

Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (463)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was so scary.

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(405): I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out. (405): It was so scary. http://tfl.nu/0h8m

Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (349)

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