hell yes lets make some ravioli
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
