Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
