Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
