so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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