You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
