All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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