Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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