i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
