He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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