Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Randomize
