Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
