Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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