And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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