so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
