Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
