His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
