if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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