just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize