Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
