rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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