I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
