Me too!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
