What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Pappa wants mamma naked
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The uberlube is also flammable
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
