Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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