yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
