and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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