Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
