If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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