Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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