If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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