he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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