I just made out with a guy for $7.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
