whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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