Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
