Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
