When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
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I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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