Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
