Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
