u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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