Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
