Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
