does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
