That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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