new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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