Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
